Jus,
I went to the cemetery today and was flooded with over whelming grief. Just the thought of you being gone now for one year is hard to accept. It seems I always have the same pray to God begging to God just to let me feel your presents, and to know that everything is Ok. How I long to smell your sent or to see your face anywhere. I see you in my mind and I see your laughter and love you shared with all of us. I miss you so much. I do have good days but there is not a day or night I don’t think about you and that terrible night you died in my arms. For some reason I think God must have answered my pray last night. I picked up Micah, Emily and Sarah from their Dad’s house, when the kids got in the car and we started down the road to Uncle Chris and Aunt Crystal’s house, then I had this over whelming smell of your hair. I remember the smell of your hair from the hospital and I kept my face next to yours stroking your hair and smelling your hair. Any way the kids just started talking about the events that took place the night you died without being asked. Sarah said she was on your belly and got on the floor, Micah was so brave he took his little sister’s into the bedroom. Micah said he give Emily his shirt and covered Sarah with a blanket and tried to console their tears and he took them outside to my mom’s car so they would not witness the EMT’s working on their Mom. This is the first time they have every talked about that night. I knew their Mother was with them she is their guardian angel watching over them. I strongly believe that God allowed her present their in the car last night allowing the kids to speak their feelings. I told Sarah I need to smell her hair I thought it was her smell, but no it was their Mother’s sent that I smelled. Thank you God, for giving me that one moment in time, knowing that my daughter was right there watching over her children last night. Justine’s Mom
They finally placed her head stone the end of November. It's beautiful; it has two Angels one playing a flute because she played the flute in school and the other angel reading a book, because she read to her children every night. The angels surround her photo of her and her children the last summer she was alive. Justine loved her children more than anything she played with them and always filled their hearts with her laughter. Micah, Emily and Sarah's favorite treat was Cowboy cookies; boy do those kids remember that about their Mom. Jusitne was the Mother I wished I had of been, but I guess she learned some of it from me. Jus was such a joy in everyone’s life, if you didn't know her when you met her, you would know her before you left. Jus filled every room with her smile and laughter and I don't think there was ever a time that you wanted to become her friend. Jus loved music, singing and dancing one of her best songs she sang was "Respect" Boy could she dance, Mark and Justine use to sang "It's Your Love" but that was awhile back. Jus would always sang with her kids. The one song the girls could sing was "All I Want To Do" By Sugarland. Still to this day they try to sing ‘All I Want To Do”, but they have forgotten some of the words but we still try to sang the song for Mom.
To my Daughter Elisia Justine McQuitty,
One year ago Feb. 17th 2010 we lost her to a sudden death..
These are my thoughts, as I go through this hard time.
Poem for Justine: "This Road Has Been Hard", BY Mom
This road has been hard full of twist and turns, and bends in this journey.
I see your face your smile everyday when I wake, praying to God that you are safe. I look to the trees, the sky the stars for anything that says that you are nearby.
My mind is filled with that horrific night, that night I gave you your last breathe, I stood by and watched them trying to bring you back, but I knew in my heart, you had said goodbye.
I ran down the road screaming you died, only to ask God why, you left me that night with your three little children, our hearts broken dreams falling apart.
The children asking did I save their Mom, God why did you take her I don’t understand. A wonderful, Daughter and a Mother too, so beautiful and loving we miss her so. We have gone down this road a
year from this date, still asking God, why did she die? We see your face we feel your touch we hear your voice in songs we hear. We miss you my Daughter and will forever hold this hole in my heart. You were a
gift from God that died to soon; he must have had a reason to take you home. Maybe, to prepare the path for us all watching over us with your sweet scent oh so near. We know you will guide us safely home and then my sweet Daughter we will meet again.
You my Justine were a gift to me taken from earth to early to believe, but you will never leave my heart the memory floods my soul, there isn’t a day I don’t think of you, and pray God watches over you.
Merlene, Teegan, Sarah, Me( Rachel), Justine, Meghan and that looks like Freddie in fron of us.... wow!! GO PANTHERS!!!! LOL
Justine it's your birthday today. You would have been 29 years old today.
2-4-10, your brother Rick, Bryan and I (Mom) went to the cemetery with balloons and a helium tank. We filled up 8 balloons and sent then to you with I love you with them. We placed Mickey Mouse balloons on your grave. I had such a tough week that week with your birthday coming soon. Buying you a card was the toughest so I bought 3 cards. I placed one on your grave. I had bought two of the same cards, so I must of liked it the best. I did not want to cry at your grave on your birthday, I wanted to celebrate your birthday. Rick, Bryan and I each took a balloon full of helium and sucked in the air and sang happy birth day to you. We laughed so hard and told stories about you. We knew you would like the humor of the helium singing. We love you and miss you Love you and miss you Justine. Mark also had balloons and had the kids sang happy birthday to you. I had Micah, Emily and Sarah over the weekend, the girls want to go to the cemetery but Micah will not go. Micah says it's too painful for him, I know Emily feels the same way, but Sarah fells the connection with you being there. One day Micah will go to your grave but right now it's ok
