Eilisa Justine Fears - McQuitty - Online Memorial Website

It's been 4 years since you we're taken from us. It is hard to go back to that moment in time. I still struggle with your death as well do your children. They talk about you just about everyday Or your not far from their thoughts. Sarah writes God letters asking God to take care of their Mom. I moved back to Missouri to help Mark with the kids, trysts doing a pretty good job. I know it can't be that easy for him, but he tries. Micah is so tall and Sarah and Emily are grown up. Emily looks just like you and Sarah looks like you at  the same age. They are coming to CA for the summer, I am sure they will want to do the same things we did that last summer with us. I remember splash mountain was your favorite ride at Disneyland, wwere soaking wet. I can see you now at the beach with the kids playing in the surf and looking for crabs with the kids. What a great time we had. I am so thankful we had a month together that last summer before you passed away. I still ask God what happen to you I still can't except it was your heart, I still think it was the fall that was the cause of your death. No matter your still gone and I am broken with grief. I love you Justine, you are my baby and I miss you so much.

jus the last two days have been really hard stopping the tears has been difficult. Sometimes that is all I can do when I remember you. I moved back to Clinton to help Mark with the kids but it is to hard. I miss you so much and the kids remind me of you. Emily looks kie you and Sarah and Micah have your eyes. All three of them have your heart and beauty. Micah is so tender and loving as you were. How do you stop the pain. Some days I can't stand it missing you.

Confusion reigns within my heart, within my soul, because I know I cannot ever be the woman I once was.  How can I be complete and whole when part of me is gone?  A special part, a precious part.  The part that was my daughter, conceived in love, how gratefully I bore you.  Filled with pride, a bit of my heart, a bit of my soul went with your when you died.  One cannot lose a child to death and still remain the same, untouched by tears of emptiness, undaunted by the pain, the cruelest nightmeares come to pass.  Life's bitterest pill to swallow.  In light of this, I can endure all else that is yet to follow.  There's nothing that can fill the empty spaces that remain; I've tried and failed so many times I cannot try again to regain the past.  That's all a bitter sham.  It's time that I resign myself to being who I am. To be the woman I've become (no acting out a part).  A mother with a Shattered Dream and a Broken Heart. Happy Birthday

 

My Rose

You were the seed planted in my life

With love you were planted a small seed left to grow and blossom on your own

With every touch of love I felt your life moving, turning and kicks

I am sure you must of laughed with each new day you my little seed would grow

With love and tenderness you became a beautiful bud with tender fingers, toes and a little nose you my love became my rose.

The day you came into this world a beautiful gift was given to me

Eyes blues,looking up at me your fingers reached out and touched my cheek

That moment in time stood still you touched the deepest part of my heart.

The love I felt can't be explained only a mother knows its name

The love exploded in me you were the most beautiful rose to ever see.

Your bud became petals full of beauty and fragrance you my love were a rose

You went through life always giving, living and loving all.

You never had a harsh word for none.

Your petals were red so full of life with a drop of dew you always spread your touch

of tenderness and love

One day your seeds became not one but three little buds gentle and fragrant like their mother the rose, they became the buds of you with little finger, toes and a small little nose

They are growing those little buds that look like their mother that left this world.

Left alone to grow into the flowers like their Mom.

They miss their rose as I do too. When I see a red rose I always, always think of my flower and her three little buds. That one day they will become a rose.

Happy Birthday my Rose

Love Mom

I found this Hallmark cards that says how I feel about you my Jus. Your birthday is soon Feb.4th but I can't be here so we are having cake tonight and dinner and placing ballons on your grave. This is from the card I found My daughter What I Love About You I love the spirit of you The grace with which You welcome each challenge, The childlike wonder That still colors Your days I LOVE the originality of you.... Your willingness To stand out from the crowd Your unique perspective On what's happening in the world And in your life. I love the wisdom of you The way you trust your intuition Your unfailing commitment To doing the right thing. And most of all, I love the heart of you.... The genuine compassion, empathy, Anis friendship You offer to everyone you know. I guess it's pretty clear I/we love everything about you. And on your Birthday, I'am wishing Joy and blessings to you My beautiful daughter and friend. We miss you and there is not a day that you are not remembered love Mom